Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
