I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
