After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
