Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we're making bets on your personal life
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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