For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
