So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize