Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
