what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I lost the right to judge tonight
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
