I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
