quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize