Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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