I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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