We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize