Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
