my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
