Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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