I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
