What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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