don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize