You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Sext me about skeletons
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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