yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Sext me about skeletons
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
