Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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