I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
