one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He did a backflip because drugs
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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