i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize