Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
