she looked like the before picture.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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