**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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