i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Quick, to the slutcave!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize