this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
