girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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