I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
