can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
