you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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