His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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