if i can run in heels then i can drive
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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