life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
How does one acquire holy water?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
