Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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