this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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