im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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