I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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