yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
