i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
