Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
