Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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