is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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