she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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