You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I need to sanitize my soul.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
