that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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