All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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