My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
