Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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