i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
