This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
