His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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