Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i came on her dog
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
