he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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